Time for the paddle
That was short-lived and you abruptly stopped and announced that you were going to paddle me before you used the tawse. (You have to know Doc, I said this a minute ago, I really was not ready for this pain then. If you had given me a choice at the time, I would have waited until Sunday. Now, I say it was better exactly when it happened.) You immediately started paddling before I could even think to object!
As you put the cuffs on my wrists and ankles, the room got bigger again. This used to happen when I was a kid and anxiety set in at night, it seemed my room was as big as an empty convention center and there was almost an echo. That same feeling hits me when you are so close to causing me pain I virtually can’t stand.
Excitement and Doom
The thing about being tied over the wedge is the feeling of total psychological disquiet that comes from being vulnerable and open and exposed. And….. there is only one purpose for me to be in that position…. punishment! That is both the thrill and the fear when you are tying the ropes. The excitement and doom reside together.
The mantra “be careful what you wish for” became very sharp for me. Was I nuts, asking for an irrational amount of pain from a man who I knew would deliver it??
I wasn’t sure immediately if you were using the Melissa paddle, but recognized the heaviness. You spanked me with it at a slower pace than last time. Every … single … stroke … registered. There is no bite when you bring that thing down onto my bottom with the force you use, it is just a blunt, heavy, deep, jarring pain. It penetrates all of my bottom flesh in a kind of hot, graceless, boorish way and goes straight to the core of my lower body.
I don’t know why I felt this so much more consciously than I felt the last paddling, but I did. There was no shock and no numbness, it was all reality! The live nerves on my bottom fed my desperate feelings of wanting to avoid where the paddle was landing. I writhed and dodged (I think physically, but maybe only in my mind!), but couldn’t avoid it. I could only move a couple of inches left or right.
It was grievous
It was unbearable and I couldn’t contain the pain in my head, it had to come out of my mouth! The fire started in my bottom and spread to the back of my eyes. I don’t know how hard you were spanking, but with my previous fresh spanking, it hurt as badly as my paddling last month. The tears were already choking up in my throat.
The entire paddling was grievous Doc, way beyond bearable!
You have to forgive me if my own words seem to clash with each other at times Doc, but the fact is that I do have very opposing feelings with much of this stuff at times. Both with how I think and how I feel. I kind of depends on how distant the pain is and how urgent my desire is at the time I speak. If I boil everything down, I am more consistent than I seem at times, so just give me some leeway with all of that, please.
I was so relieved when you stopped paddling, only to realize a second later that it meant the next segment of my punishment was coming. All of a sudden I wished again for the wicked paddle.
I might call you a ~pain artist~ who exudes true gentlemanly kindness. Seemingly a contradiction in terms, but you carry it off well Doc.
3. Fire to the Back of my Eyes
You can download this file (same quality) at 3. Fire to the back of my eyes.