Even if nothing happens beyond this point, it is already quite wonderful. I’m thrilled that you are getting more clear in your mind, that you’re able to think about spanking without this cross-chatter, that I interpret as your defenses against the internalized judgments of others (and of yourself) that your desire is shameful. Talking about it, thinking about it with someone who supports you instead of judging you is good for your soul.
I’m enclosing a photo or two.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I like your photos. You have kind eyes. And your arms look strong!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
>>You have kind eyes. And your arms look strong!<<
I spank hard.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Gulp…Do you spank medium? 🙂
Good . . . I knew that would be good for an orgasm or two!
Yes, I also spank medium. You know already that my goal is that when your first spanking is over, you say, “When can we do this again?”
Let’s talk about pain
Now, for a word about pain.
Pain is central to the spanking experience. I have a lot to say about pain on the website, but your comment helps me realize that I need to say more. But the bottom line is that we both know you want pain, we just don’t know how much.
The easiest way to moderate your anxiety over pain is for me to promise that the first spanking I give you won’t be very hard. After the first spanking, we’ll know much more about how this all works for you; but the first one should be, and will be, free of the fear that the pain will be intense.
There are several mild or moderate spankings on the web site; most often they are preliminaries, with more intense spankings to follow later in that same session; but they are there. I’d also include the erotic spankings in this category; they are certainly not painful.
Friday, July 11, 2008
I read the section on pain last night. You do a great job on your site. I don’t think you need to say more just because I am full of these questions.
Last night I was thinking…Just because you have been interested in spanking your whole life doesn’t mean you are interested in pain, right? I know, I know it sounds silly. Interest in spanking = wanting pain. I thought about this for awhile. Then when I read your email this morning it simply states:
“But the bottom line is that we both know you want pain, we just don’t know how much.”
I laughed out loud. Other things that amuse me are…Yes, I know you also post Mild and Moderate sessions on your site. But do you think I listen to those???? No. I listen to the ones you call “harrowing” and “severe”.
So Doc, you may just know a thing or two about what I really want even if I don’t.
Pix and pain, continued
The fact that you fantasize about intense spankings, and about buckets of tears, suggests that, at least in theory, you may enjoy being spanked hard, in the funny way that “masochists” enjoy that sort of experience. I have had it myself; I’ve been spanked to tears and beyond, and while I was crying I was also thinking, in one corner of my head, that this is what I wanted. It’s hard to explain . . . but it happens.
But, as I said, we don’t start there. We start with a mild, or at most a moderate, spanking. We see how that goes, how we both feel about it. And then we can think about what might come next.
We can only find what kind of spankings you love the most by experimenting. Fortunately, there’s no rush.
Fortunately, there’s no rush?
Easy for you to say!
I’m in an unusual position
Thinking about your visit . . .
I’m in an unusual position now. I am the man women come to in order to learn more about spanking, and about themselves and their sexuality. I take women whose desire to be spanked has always been partly or completely thwarted, and I show them how to experience the heights of their spanking sexuality. They love it—and I love showing it to them. And then, sooner or later, they move on, not because they tire of the spankings we share, but because they are ready to take what they’ve learned with me and use it to find a long term partner. I give them the knowledge and experience they need to form relationships with other spankers.
Okay, all day long I have been thinking about what it feels like to feel pain. Couldn’t have been that 4:00am email I received from you now could it?
Until now, whenever I would think about spanking I would focus on aspects such as being dominated, panties, feeling aroused, the hands, the talking, etc. I don’t think I have truly ever thought about the pain…until you told me you “spank hard”. What about the pain, Doc? What if I can’t take it?
Many of the ladies in your “sound” clips are experienced and know what they want. They know how much they can take. How does a newbie know how much she can take?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Now about our topic at hand (your hands anyway)… Sharing with me your recent time spent with Steph is much appreciated. It certainly helps to know that you know of what you speak of. That makes me feel even more safe, in a way. When I hear you say on the Sound Files “This is going to hurt.” I know that you know what you are talking about! Screaming and writhing in ecstasy/pain has always figured into my fantasies. I think it’s the part where someone else is in charge and I am free to let go. Not being in control is big for me. That takes me out of my comfort zone for sure. Maybe I seem to be blasé about it only because I have nothing to compare it too. I really have no experience with pain. YET!
Word for the day: Anticipation
Over your lap, wrists secured at my lower back, anticipating,
>> Over your lap, wrists secured at my lower back, anticipating<<
Not so fast!
I know you too little to give you a hard spanking.
You can get to the point where I spank you hard, of course. It will take work on your part; and like anything else in life, you must know what you want and be determined to achieve it.
Some of the obstacles are obvious: fear and pain.
And there is a second layer of obstacle: fear of what you will learn about yourself, anxiety about loss of control, and other issues that neither of us can name now. So it won’t be easy to show that you are ready to surrender control and be spanked hard.
But if you want it, it is possible.
You can earn it.
It’s up to you.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
How do I earn it?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
>>How do I earn it?<<
You visit me—probably more than once.
I spank you repeatedly—initially mild or moderate, then harder, and then harder yet.
As the spankings I give you become more painful, you struggle, you beg, you howl, but somehow you endure.
After each one, you say “thank you” . . . and you mean it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
About 8 years ago, I lived in Houston for one month. At the time I was working as an administrative assistant for a man who had this show on the Home Shopping Network where we sold limited edition prints, among other things, of mostly western or southwestern themes. Anyway, when the show ended we had unsold inventory on our hands. I started looking for a way to get rid of it and came across the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. So, I rented a condo there for a month and flew to Houston along with a couple of friends and we participated in the Exhibit Hall marketplace. Not only did I sell every thing I brought, we had to send someone out from CA to bring more product – since you can’t leave the show early. I absolutely loved my time in Houston. The people were fantastic. I also liked the way the weather was always changing! I met a lot of people that used the word “fixin.” As in ”We’re fixin to go to dinner.” That’s my story about Houston.
Okay, Doc. I’m fixin to go take a long, hot bath right now.
Until next time!
The next time you’re in Houston, I’m fixing to tan your hide.
LOL I just shot coffee out my nose.
Here’s a question: Do you prefer woman with experience?
Experience is good if you have it. Inexperience is good, too. I spend much of my time with spanking (and other sexual activity) living vicariously through the woman, who gets all the experiences. I enjoy women’s experiences. I’m fascinated by how inexperienced women approach and experience their first spankings.
We know that you want pain because in your fantasies you’re writhing and crying.
Part of my job is helping you move from just fantasizing about crying, to experiencing the right amount of the right kind of pain.
I can’t wait!
Phone call 7/17/8
We agreed to look for a couple of days from August 19 on (could include August 18 realistically)
Discussed the pros and cons of someone who’s inexperienced
We haven’t talked about recording, I don’t think. I plan on doing sound recording and some still pix. I recommend we do video recording as well (we can do that with your face in or out of the picture, your choice), but I don’t insist on that. Let me know your thoughts about that some time, please.
I see you first spanking, or your first pair of spankings (one erotic, one mild-moderate) as the place where all of this negotiation ends, its logical culmination; and beyond that, everything else begins.
Before that transition, the basic ground rules apply; the most important are: no hard spanking and no intercourse.
I’m looking forward to your visit . . . very much.
You know, of course, about the only rule, when you are here. That you have to ask permission, and receive it, and perform any tasks I assign, before cumming. So you can look forward to that torture at a minimum.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
You know, of course, about the only rule, when you are here. That you have to ask permission, and receive it, and perform any tasks I assign, before cumming. So you can look forward to that torture at a minimum. MMMmmmm… Thank you for reminding me of your rule, Doc. Tonight, while I am in bed, touching myself, looking for relief…. I will be thinking about asking you for permission to cum. I am looking forward to that torture.
Fleur (all worked up)