Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Have you ever met someone who was interested in exploring and afterwards wished that they had just kept it a fantasy?
Just the opposite.
EVERYONE says the reality is better than they had even imagined.
So many emotions
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Reading your email last night, before going to bed, got me quite stirred-up! Just seeing the words made me blush and get tingly all at the same time. I quickly turned off the computer and got into bed. I stared at the ceiling while I thought of my fantasies regarding you and a trip to Houston. So many emotions were going through my head.
My first thought when I read the email was, “Wow, I like this man’s pace”. You are moving forward (like you’ve had experience doing this before) at a natural rhythm that I need, otherwise I can easily find excuses to stall. I don’t really want to stall. I have been doing that my whole life.
The second thought was how confident you come across in your writing. I like that. Confidence has always been a big turn-on for me. I am a reformed control-freak who feels both relieved and a little out of my element when a man is leading.
Then the crazy talk started. WHAT? Am I nuts? That is why you received that email this morning regarding reality VS. fantasy.
In terms of pace, there’s no reason to either dilly-dally or to hurry. I never want you to feel rushed. I brought up the question of your visit because our conversation led directly to that point. But before you visit we need to talk more online, we need to talk on the phone, and we both need to feel we’re ready.
You will have lots of crazy talk. You will think, many times, that you are completely out of your mind to even think about traveling a long distance just so a man you’ve never met and who could be a real mental case can hurt you! So, that’s to be expected, and if you didn’t have that kind of second thought, I’d worry about you. Fortunately you will, so I won’t have to worry!
When you get those thoughts, remind yourself that your home town is full of mental cases too, and you’re experienced enough to judge these things for yourself.
You will also have lots of intense thoughts and feelings about spanking. To be corresponding with someone who might, just might, actually spank you, is going to trigger a cascade of arousal and desire. You are going to be thinking about spanking all the time, night and day, and masturbating more often than you ever have in your life. That’s all totally normal, and you will (eventually) get back to normal, except with new understanding about spanking added in.
That sound file … OMG
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Good Evening. I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed coming home at the end of this day and finding your thoughtful reply. I had trouble focusing at work.
Then, as if you read my mind, I come home to this well-written email describing some of the things that I might experience (which by the way I have been experiencing all day) and suddenly I felt so much more at ease. Thanks.
Honest to God, I just faded off into space again thinking about that Sound file. OMG. Anyway, where was I? You asked about what was going on in my imagination this morning…. Well, at first I remembering some of the stories that you posted, but substituting me instead. I picture meeting you in a hotel and you taking me across your lap for a hand spanking. Though I wail and cry, afterwards I am able to climax while we have sex missionary style. In RL I have a very hard time having an orgasm with a man. I have often wondered if masturbating all these years to spanking-themed fantasies has ruined me for life! Another version is you and I going to a cocktail party at someone’s house. After we have been there, mingling for awhile, you come up and find me and whisper in my ear that you are not happy with the way I disappeared or whatever and tell me that you plan to give me a spanking. Then you tell me to come with you to the “coat” room where the guests are putting there things. I protest but I know you are in charge. I am mortified that someone will hear or come in but you pull me across your lap anyway and….
Bath time. As always, it feels good to write this stuff down.
Eagerly awaiting your reply,
Just saw your e-mail from tonight … but no time to answer. Let me stick with your e-mail from last night for now.
I’m glad my comments about your state of mind now (alternating between being shocked at yourself for considering this trip, and so wet you expect to see puddles on the floor, and often both at the same time) were a propos. Safety is important to everyone, and spanking is important to you; so you’ll continue to have this alternating worry and wild arousal.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
When I think back to all the thoughts and conversations, fantasies, etc. that have played through my head over the years I realize that there is other “chatter” that has played along with it. The chatter that tried to figure it all out, help me to understand my fascination with spanking, justify it, rationalize it. You know what I mean. Whether or not this “chatter” is correct or not it certainly plays a role. Ever since you and I began corresponding I have been getting a little clearer in my thoughts surrounding this new exploration. I just want to thank you for that.
I have been having a hard time putting things into written word. Here goes..my preferences (in fantasy only of course) have always been MF, OTK, bare-bottomed, with lots of warming up, details of panties big! I think I would like to feel a hairbrush too, but the cane scares me! Lots of tears. I associate spankings and tears with a huge sense of relief of some sort. Still working it out.
I don’t know if I am telling you too much. I do know it took me 5 minutes to type the last sentence. Ha Ha
You have no idea how funny my tummy feels right this moment. I have never, ever expressed these thoughts to anyone before. I am sure that when I hit “send” my state will rumble.