Relationships require time to develop, and a spanking relationship is no different. We are in the process of learning about each other, our likes and dislikes, what each of us needs in order to have a satisfying encounter. So far things have gone relatively well. We are beginning to be relaxed with one another and are enjoying each other’s company beyond the spanking. I can’t keep referring to him as #1. He needs a name. So for the purpose of this journal, he will be referred to as Colonel.
Colonel has spanked me three times. That isn’t a lot, but it is certainly a good beginning. We already know some things about one another and a few patterns are beginning to develop. But there is a lot more about each other that we don’t know than we do. If we continue to meet, which appears likely, then the next weeks will be a period of discovery.
I am also going to have to decide in the next few months what sort of relationship I want with Colonel or anyone else, for that matter. When I started my search, I was interested in finding someone I could meet on a regular basis for spanking and companionship. I wasn’t necessarily thinking of an exclusive relationship. I certainly am not looking for a mate. I’m quite happy being single. But if things continue to be satisfactory with Colonel, then I may want to revise my plans and stop looking for new contacts. I honestly don’t know right now which way that will go. I have spent my life being monogamous. Playing with more than one person at a time would seem odd. Of course there is no certainty that that would ever happen, but it is something I need to consider in case the opportunity arises
The relationship with Colonel has vanilla aspects. We don’t just spank. I think I like it better this way, but everyone is going to have to decide for themselves what is right for their particular situations. We’re becoming friends. We go out. We have great conversations about all sorts of subjects. It’s like starting any relationship except he also spanks me.
Another reason I feel comfortable with Colonel is because we are about the same age. Those contacts from younger men made me uncomfortable. I need someone I can relate to in a generational way. That again is something that will vary with the individual. I simply can’t imagine being spanked by a man young enough to be my son. Colonel and I grew up within 15 miles of each other at about the same time. We have mutual acquaintances. It creates a familiarity that is reassuring.
I had a face to face meeting with #2 on April 12th. We spent a pleasant hour or so chatting. First meetings are always awkward and this one was no different. Things didn’t go badly, but there wasn’t much sparkle, either. I think the fact that both of us were tired may have played a role in that. #2 needs a name, also. We’ll call him Baxter.
This brings up a difficulty we often have when we meet someone we’ve chatted to online for a while. Sometimes our online personas are a bit different than our real life ones. In my case, I am much quieter in person, more reserved. It’s possible that this was a bit disconcerting for Baxter. He was probably expecting someone more animated.
For my part, I’m not sure what I was expecting. Baxter’s online conversations show him to be inventive and fun-loving. Truthfully, I think I was expecting him to be a bit naughty and flirty. My conclusion was that he found me unappealing and so didn’t flirt. Hey, it happens.
I enjoyed our online chats. I believe he enjoyed them, also. The question now is whether having met each other will change the tone of these conversations or if they will continue at all. Neither of us mentioned spanking or suggested a second meeting. I did find out that he doesn’t like cats.
By the time Colonel arrived at my house for our scheduled spanking evening, I was exhausted from dealing with family all day. Instead of going out, I suggested we watch a DVD. It was a good plan, much more relaxing that going to a movie. We both enjoyed the film. It’s remarkable how similar our tastes are. By the time the film started, Colonel already had both the dog and the youngest of my cats on his lap.
After the movie we went into the bedroom for my spanking. He started again by completely undressing me then took me over his knees for a long hand spanking. He wasn’t quite as gentle this time. My bottom was really stinging when he finished. Next he arranged the pillows on the bed and had me lay over them. He began with the leather ruler paddle from London Tanners. He gave me three dozen with it and had me squirming before he finished. Colonel switched to the tawse but only gave me 8 with it. That was fewer than I expected and I was a bit relieved. Finally he picked up the riding crop and teased me with it more than anything. He gave me about a dozen with the crop, but it hurt far less than the first two implements he had used. I was a bit disappointed when he stopped.
I have my spanking implements in a tall wicker basket. The first surprise of the night came when he picked up a birch from the basket and took it into the bathroom to soak. The second surprise was that he asked me to spank him while the birch soaked. It was going to be his first spanking since he was a boy. I’ve never spanked anyone and felt extremely awkward. But I took a stab at it. I had him undress – hey, turnabout is fair play – and took him over my lap. I started spanking him and soon discovered that it makes your hand hurt like hell. If we are going to do this often, I’m going to have to find a way to toughen up my hand. I managed to make him squirm and turned his bottom rosy. I also bruised my hand. I put him over the pillows I had just vacated and introduced him to the rubber flogger, the leather ruler paddle and the blue plastic paddle. I didn’t give him very many of any of them since he was a novice. He was more than ready to quit, but he said he enjoyed it. I felt really good that he trusted me enough to tell me that this was something he had been wanting to experience for a long time.
The birch was ready. I went back over the pillows. I was nervous. Really nervous. The first few strokes on my tender bottom weren’t bad at all. I barely felt them and started to relax. Then they started stinging. My entire bottom was soon burning and aching. The effect kept building. He gave me 40 with it. The last ten or so were absolutely miserable. I was gasping with pain and had a hard time staying in place. I was sure I’d be welted and bruised from it, but he rubbed lotion on my bottom and told me there wouldn’t be any sign of it in the morning, which was true.
The third surprise of the evening came when he had me turn over onto my back and used the rubber flogger on my front. I had mentioned to him that it might be interesting to try (an idea I got from Baxter), but I didn’t expect him to actually do it. He started at my shoulders and worked his way down to my knees and back up again. It was enough sting to get my attention without being overly painful. It sure took my mind off of my birched bottom. It also was extremely arousing.
All things considered, it was a really satisfactory evening.
April 18 – Vanilla evening
Last night turned into a vanilla evening. Colonel picked me up for dinner at a nice restaurant and a movie. We had an enjoyable time as usual, but were caught in a bad thunderstorm almost as soon as we left the restaurant parking lot. Because of the weather, we decided to skip the movie and headed for my house, which was a lot closer than his. We watched a DVD instead, then went to bed. I couldn’t send him out in weather like that, could I?
The fact that we didn’t spank points out that spanking relationships don’t necessarily have to include spanking every time. I’m sure some of them do, but Colonel and I are developing a dual relationship of sorts. Even though spanking brought us together, we are becoming good friends independent of the kink. Since we live only 20 minutes apart, there isn’t an urgency to fit in a spanking like there might be if one of us had to travel a long distance for the meeting. It’s easy to see one another again.
It is still early days in this relationship, but it seems likely that the ability to have a perfectly satisfying evening without spanking is a good sign. If we are able to sustain a genuine friendship, it should make the spanking relationship stronger. At least I’m hoping it will work out that way. We will be meeting again tomorrow evening. I know Colonel plans a spanking then. After so many years of going unspanked, it is wonderful to have that to anticipate.