March 14, 2008: My new hobby
In one of our first conversations Doc said I need to view finding spanking satisfaction as a hobby. When I look back at other hobbies I’ve enjoyed over the years and the amount of time and resources invested, I can understand how this view of the procedure makes sense. So today I sat down and came up with what I consider to be a reasonable amount of time and money that I am willing to spend to make my search successful.
Every hobby requires supplies and tools of some sort. Usually, we have to practice in order to become proficient with any new tools. The way I approached alt.com before makes no more sense than if I picked up a paint brush and expected it to add color and texture to a canvass all by itself. This time I am determined to make the effort to learn how to navigate the site and to initiate contacts. I’m also going to purchase the enhanced membership. I’m not quite ready to register again. There are a few things I want to work out in my mind first. By having the previous unhappy experience, I at least know what I don’t want to do this time.
March 15: Photo
Deciding what to do about a photo to use for both alt.com and bondage.com has been a real trauma. I didn’t use one at all before in an attempt to protect my identity. The truth is that I’d lose my job in an instant if it became common knowledge that I am kinky and am registered on a site like alt.com. There is no way I can show my face even if I wanted to, which I don’t.
I asked Doc if could use the same photo for both sites and was relieved to learn that it is actually a good idea to remain consistent with both a name and image for my spanking-related activities. So, all I need is one photo. I considered using a silhouette, wearing a mask or using a drawing. What I don’t want to do is portray a false image of myself by putting up something taken 30 years ago or using a drawing of a woman who in no way resembles myself. I’m a pretty straightforward person. What you see is what you get. So I finally went into the bedroom with my camera, wearing the sort of clothes you are likely to find me in around the house and took a photo in front of a full-length mirror. It was late afternoon so the light is poor. The camera blocks my face. It is recognizable but only if you are already well acquainted with me and are expecting to see my short, pudgy self.
I would like to get something better to use, but this will have to do for now.
March 16: The profile
Today I worked on what facts I want to list in my profile. Do I give my exact age? How about my location? General or specific as to town? Occupation? Hobbies? How much information is too little or too much? I want to come across as a real person without providing a lot of identifiers. This is something that needs serious thought. Last time I made it up as went along. I intend for everything I say to be the truth. I am serious about finding a spanking partner. I don’t want to find the perfect man and then have to start backpedaling about information in my profile.
I have decided to tell people that I am in my late 50’s, work in management, live in Southwest Missouri, am a widow, live alone, read science fiction and English cozies, enjoy both classical music and classic rock, grow my own vegetables and like to travel. All true. All things I share with so many people that no one would necessarily know it was me. And that I want to be spanked, of course.
March 17: What I want
Yesterday I decided what to say about myself. Now I have to decide what qualities I am looking for in a spanking partner. Again, age? Location? Interests? Last time I was too narrow and probably excluded everyone that might have been suitable. So this time I want to give myself a better chance of finding the right person.
Age should be around 10 years of my own either way. So let’s say 48-70. Location within 100 miles. That covers much of Southwest Missouri, Southeast Kansas, Northeast Oklahoma and a bit of Northwest Arkansas. That’s a good search area. Interests. Here’s where it gets tricky. I want someone who will respect my limits. Also someone whose main interest is spanking. Light bondage would be ok, but not the heavy stuff. No really scary stuff. So how exactly do I make it clear that I want just a spanker, that I want the spanking to hurt, but I don’t want to be hurt. I’ll have to read the profiles carefully and eliminate those that make me uneasy.
March 18: Record keeping
There was one more task to perform before I register on alt.com and bondage.com. I need a practical way to keep records to both help with the entries here and to make it possible to do some sort of analysis down the road. Computer files are all well and good, but I often prefer the old fashioned approach. I went to the office supply store and bought a three ring binder, some notebook paper and a package of dividers. I plan to track the amount of time I spend, the number of contacts and whatever information I find useful about the people I meet on the two sites. I will condense it here for Doc’s readers and provide the more detailed information to him when it’s time to wrap it all up.
It’s time to begin. Tomorrow’s task is to register on alt.com.
March 19 Registration day
Today I registered with alt.com and spent a bit of time trying to figure out the site. This time around I signed up for their gold membership. There are three options, the regular, free membership, a silver membership and a gold membership. The cost difference between the silver and gold is small, so I took the gold. I chose the 3 month package (which is four months because they give you a free month) for $59.97. At the end of the four months, they will automatically renew, billing your credit card. If you don’t want the automatic renewal, you need to go into preferences and click off that box.
I made the profile pretty short and to the point: I am a widow, late fifties, looking for a male spanking partner within a 100 mile radius of my home. I enjoy reading, gardening, travel and classical music. I enjoy erotic spankings and role play. Light bondage only. If you enjoy otk hand spankings and leather implements, I would like to hear from you.
Then I attached the photo, took a deep breath and entered it.