I enjoyed a visit from Gin (of NaturallyGin) last week. We had fun—and I learned a lot.
I have always thought that mixed relationships, spanko and vanilla, are a formula for disaster. That reflected my own experience and that of the people I’ve spent time with. Gin persuaded me that I was wrong; that couples can have sustained, happy relationships even if one is a spanko and the other is not. The key factor is whether the vanilla partner accepts the other person’s need to engage in spanking with other people. In this case, the whole problem of incompatibility disappears. I’m going to change the relevant parts of my website.
We also talked about safewords. I have always believed that safewords are an important safeguard for both top and bottom when they don’t know each other well (and sometimes even when they do). But when Gin spanks someone new, she doesn’t give them a safeword, and she’s never had a problem. This discussion gave me a deeper understanding into when safewords are important and when they are unnecessary.
Lots to think about. Thank you, Gin!